Satan Wrote the Bible

If you don’t recognize that as expletives expelled at the time of sexual climax, you will have to take my word for it that God is often invoked at the height of ecstasy. I have done both primary and secondary research and found it to be the case in English and Spanish and I suspect it is the case in most languages; at least that is my premise.
It hardly seems reasonable for men and women to call out to the God of the Bible at this time since Jewish, Christian and Muslim gods all seem to be down on sex—don’t masturbate, don’t have sex for any purpose other than procreation and Muslims seem to think that a man should not even look at a woman lest he be aroused. I don’t think when people call out “Oh, God”, or “Jesus!”, or “Dios, mio!” that they are thinking, “Oh God, forgive me for I have sinned.”
Consider the possibility that we are calling out to the God that gave us our life. It seems more likely that we are calling out “Thank you! Oh, God, thank you.” That God is quite different from the God so many worship through their religions. That is a sensual god, a god who gave us our senses of smell, touch, taste, sight, sound—senses that all work together during sexual intercourse to a crescendo, an explosion of feeling.
Shouldn’t we seek out the God who gave us those senses rather than worshiping a God conceived by men over two millennia ago? We know so much more about our world now than they knew then. By clearing our heads of that ancient concept of God, perhaps we can conceive of a God that will work better in the 21st century.

Ah, the truth. The truth for you may be different than the truth for me. I think it is something each of us must find for ourselves. It is a pity that many people are taught at an early age that their religion is the only true religion and that they should not question it. If you are not questioning, you are not learning.
The truth regarding the contradictions in the Bible is that it was written by many men based on stories that were passed down orally through many generations with corrections, embellishments, errors and, I suspect, some intentional fraud. We should keep in mind that these men thought the world was the center of the universe and that the earth was flat. They should be admired for the philosophical/psychological truths they discovered but thinking should not stop.
Consider how much more we know today than was known 2,000 years ago about every field of thought—astronomy, geography, biology, chemistry, botany, psychology, psychiatry, etc.—while religious philosophy has stood still.
If you have debated with someone who takes the Bible literally, you have probably reached a point in the debate where your opponent says, “It is a leap of faith.” That is where a debate between rational or logical thought and religious belief has reached an impasse. That is where I say, “Leave your leap of faith behind and use your God-give mind.” By the way, when I say that, I am not stating my own belief on the existence of a Supreme Being but rather using language that should resonate with the person I’m debating.

Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:4

That is the kind of advice from the Bible that sounds good but is off the mark; we should look to our own interests. Sounds selfish, right? I believe we should be selfish PROVIDED WE UNDERSTAND WHAT IS IN OUR BEST INTEREST.

Have you ever unselfishly helped someone out? There is the classic helping an old lady across the street; changing a tire for a stranger; helped someone reach something in a store; held a door open for a stranger; given a stranger change for a parking meter; etc. Think about some kindness you have offered without expectation of any return. How did it make you feel?

I have no idea how helping another might make YOU feel but it makes me feel good, so good that I am usually on the lookout for ways I can do another a kindness.

Sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, for it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. – Luke 18:22-25

Living frugally and giving is not bad advice but doing it to get into Heaven saps the joy out of it. If you have given money to a cause you believed in, especially given more than you thought you could afford, you expected nothing in return other than thanks and a good feeling of having done something good. Giving anonymously actually intensifies the good feeling conversely if you give with an expectation of a return, the good feeling is dulled. Bequests are the greatest source of wealth for religions—people giving their wealth with the hope of getting into heaven. If only they had given their wealth to a good cause anonymously while they were alive, they would have realized the benefit, here in this life.

“A FREE THINKER IS SATAN’S SLAVE!” read the signboard of the New Canaan, Connecticut Baptist Church.

This church must know its flock well and know that there will not be any thinking, free or otherwise, going on when they read this.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines a free thinker as “one who forms opinions on the basis of reason independently of authority; especially: one who doubts or denies religious dogma.”; and “slave” as “one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence”. Many churches are dominating influences over their flock and preach subservience to their belief making the followers of the religion slaves to their religion. Free thought, especially if based on reason independent of authority, is anathema to a religion that would accuse Free Thinkers of being Satan’s slave.

If you are a slave to your religion, throw off the bonds of slavery and join those who are free to think. You don’t have to give up your religion to be free, just feel free to reject the things that don’t make sense.

I love sex, don’t you? A study in 1993 determined that all but 5% of men and 11% of women have masturbated. In 2002 the Alan Guttmacher Institute found that by their late teenage years, at least 3/4 of all men and women have had intercourse, and more than 2/3 of all sexually experienced teens have had 2 or more partners. Links to these studies can be found at (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#Weinstock).
Satan’s work or God’s? I’m going to go with God on this one. Why does anyone masturbate? Why would ¾ of teenage men and women have intercourse? You can answer that it is because Satan put the “dirty” thoughts in their heads but a religious person, someone who had been taught that these thoughts came from Satan and should be ignored and resisted, would surely ignore and resist them if they were just thoughts; but if the thoughts came from the body, the God-given body, the body that Satan is incapable of creating, then they would be more difficult to resist. Think about it. Think about the first time you masturbated. Were you just sitting around and some random thought came into your head, “I think I’ll play with myself”; or did you perhaps wake up one morning with a very pleasurable tingly feeling in your genitals, or were you looking at another person when the feeling came on? Isn’t that where it started, a tingly feeling? In erotic and pornographic literature it is frequently described as an itch but I prefer tingly. The point is that it came from your body. Either because it is rather mysterious because you had not heard anything about this feeling before and were perhaps a little afraid of being different or because you have been taught through your religion that doing anything about that tingly feeling is wrong, a sin; you address the new experience in private.
That, I believe, is the kind of environment in which Satanic (sinful) thoughts are more likely to flourish
If you think Satan is the source of sexual interest, I implore you to put your God-given mind to work. It is your belief in Satan and God that is messing up your mind. You believe that God and only God can create a person in a body. Comedians like to point out how conveniently God placed our hands in relation to our genitals—good for a laugh but also true. Oh, maybe it was just a mistake, an opening for Satan to go to work.
I don’t really believe Satan caused the writing of the Bible but it you read it looking for evidence that he did, you will find much to support the notion. While you are checking out the Bible check on God’s actions and words. He is really a nasty dude. It surpasses understanding why so many nice and lovely things are written about him in the Bible.