Satan Wrote the Bible » faith

The Boss’s Ten Commandments

ThomasD — Tue, 17 May 2011 15:12:45 +0000

Can you really respect a God that dished out the Ten Commandments? Would you respect a boss who laid down such commandments? How about if the leader of your country acted like God.

So you got a new job, it was the only job available so you really had no choice and you boss is laying down the law

1. I am the boss. I am your only boss. You shall have no other boss than me, ever.
2. Don’t even think about another boss or another job. I am a jealous son of a bitch and if I ever catch one of you even thinking about leaving here you will regret it. Not only will I make your life miserable but I will make your family’s life miserable, even your grandchildren’s lives.
3. It’s OK for me to call myself a SOB but you better not call me anything but Mr. Boss and Sir and it better sound sincere—no snide remarks behind my back either because I can see and hear everything that goes on not only here at work but even in your homes.
4. I built this factory in six days, believe it or not. A little joke there. You don’t really have a choice. You must believe it. I found it a good thing to rest on the seventh day and what is good for me is good for you. You, too, shall do no work on the seventh day but rather you must spend the day thinking about me. You will have to fast on the seventh day because I forbid you from letting anyone else work either. Perhaps, you could eat any food that was lying around, you know, just so you don’t work or cause anyone else to work and as long as you are thinking of me. Maybe you could, like, pick up an apple and look at it and say, “oh, beloved boss of mine thank you for giving me a wonderful job so that I can have this day to love and respect you and thank you for allowing me to eat this apple.”
5. This may be a little difficult to follow because I am the supreme boss who you must honor but you should also honor your father and mother, just not as much as you honor me. They aren’t supreme bosses like I am but they are there when I’m not so I kind of relinquish some power to them, because, you know, I can’t be everywhere all the time. But don’t forget that my spy-cams are everywhere.
6. You are not allowed to kill another worker. That’s a no-brainer. Once you start working for me, you are mine and nobody, but nobody, takes anything that is mine. It’s good for you too since everybody else is also forbidden to kill (There will be some exceptions when I will tell you to kill people. More on that later.)
7. Don’t fuck anybody but your own spouse. I told you that I was jealous so it’s only natural that some of that trait might wear off on others. Anyway adultery is just not a good thing. It’s not good for company moral.
8. No stealing. Hey, would you want someone to steal from you? OK? So don’t steal.
9. Don’t say false things about your neighbor.
10. Do not covet anybody else’s house, ditto anybody else’s wife, or his servants or his SUV.
Got it? Any questions?

Yes, Sir. What does covet mean?

It means want, desire, get a hard-on for.

Oh. Sir, are the covet things listed in order of importance? I mean, is it more important not to covet his house than his wife? And if I can’t even desire my neighbor’s wife, isn’t the adultery thing redundant?

OK, time to get back to work.

Oh, oh, Mr. Boss. Are we allowed to lie?

Read number 9.

But that just says don’t spread untrue rumors about people.

It means don’t lie.

But why didn’t you…

Oh, I forgot number 11. No questions. Actually I didn’t forget because I’m infallible. I was just teasing you.

If you are religious and you question your religious leader about the Ten Commandment and press for answers beyond the point where the only answer is “it’s a leap of faith”, your religious leader may invoke the eleventh commandment.

Run this same exercise for the leader of a country rather than the leader of a business and you may find yourself describing Moamer Kadhafi, Saddam Hussein. or Kim Jong-Il.
The Ten Commandments do not describe a loving or a lovable God. But, hey, you better accept them as God’s word or He will make you suffer for eternity which, as I understand it, is a long time

Satan’s Influence, a dialogue

ThomasD — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 13:41:21 +0000

Bible Believer:if Satan wrote the Bible, why is there so much good in it?
Thomas: Is Satan stupid?
BB: No! He is very smart. That is how he is able to lure us to do things we shouldn’t.
Thomas: What is his mission?
BB: To get us to do bad things.
Thomas: Like destroying God’s creation?
BB: Yes.
Thomas: Are we part of God’s creation?
BB: Yes.
Thomas: Do you believe God gave you your body with senses of smell, sight, touch, hearing, the pleasure of sex?
BB: Yeah, I guess.
Thomas: You guess?
BB: Well, I’m not sure about sex. That might be Satan.
Thomas: Is sex something other than a wonderful combination of the senses, might I say climax?
BB: Yeah, but Satan can get in our mind and make us do things we shouldn’t.
Thomas: Sex is something we shouldn’t do?
BB: Right, unless it is between a man and a woman and only because they are married and want to have children.
Thomas: You are married. Have you had sex with your wife other than to have children? Do you masturbate?
BB: Yes, but that is because Satan makes me do it.
Thomas: Your sexual urges come from Satan? How does Satan do that? I understand that he is smart but he did not create your body, the body that has the sexual urges.
BB: He gets in my mind.
Thomas: Your God-given mind?
BB: Well, yeah, but I’m weak.
Thomas: Your mind is weak?
BB: Yeah.
Thomas: Your God-given weak mind gives in to the pleasures of your God-given body? How does it make you feel when you “are weak?”
BB: I feel bad because I’m not doing what God wants me to do.
Thomas: How do you know what God wants you to do?
BB: It’s in the Bible.
Thomas: If it weren’t for the Bible, you would enjoy sex without feeling bad? Have I got that right? If God had written a manual for life saying “I have given you a body with senses that can bring you great pleasure and joy; I have given you a mind that will help you enjoy your life; I have given you plants and animals, mountains and oceans if you take care of them they will feed your body and soul all the days of your life; if that were God’s word, would you feel bad when you used your body?
BB: I guess not but that’s not what he said.
Thomas: Can Satan influence people? Could he influence what people write or say?
BB: He’s sure influencing what you are writing. Yes.
Thomas: Is my writing influencing you?
BB: Hell no!
Thomas: Do you think Satan could work through religions to get people to go astray?
BB: Just look at history. He does some of his best work that way.
Thomas: Through other religions, not yours?
BB: Right, there are lots of religions out there that have lost their way.
Thomas: What is your religion?
BB: Lutheran.
Thomas: So Catholics have lost their way?
BB: Absolutely! Martin Luther established that.
Thomas: And Jews have lost their way?
BB: They killed Christ didn’t they?
Thomas: And Mormons?
BB: I don’t really know much about them but unless they believe the only way to heaven is through Christ, why, yeah, they are on the wrong track.
Thomas: Muslims?
BB: Isn’t that obvious?
Thomas: So, Satan is winning? All those millions of people who aren’t Lutherans have been won over by Satan even though all of those people believe in the Bible, the same Bible you believe in. They follow, or at least try to follow, the Ten Commandments, just as you do. All but the Jews believe Jesus was holy.
BB: Not Muslims.
Thomas: Actually, they do but they have a more recent prophet who created another holy book, the Koran. Mormons have the most recent prophet to whom the Book of Mormon came directly from God much as the Ten Commandments came to Moses. The Jews have the oldest word from God and the Mormons have the most recent. What makes the Lutherans special?
BB: I just know they are. It is my faith.
Thomas: I respect your faith as long as it makes you happy. However, if it makes you unhappy, I suggest you question it. You believe Satan is smart and that he can work through religions. Perhaps you should use your mind to make sure you are not following Satan, to make sure Satan is not taking away anything God gave you.

What is Right

ThomasD — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 23:06:27 +0000

The 12th century monk, St. Bernard, carried his piety to an exhausting asceticism; he fasted so much that his superior had to command him to eat; and for thirty-eight years he lived in one cramped cell, with a bed of straw and no seat but a cut in the wall. All the comforts and goods of the world seemed to him as nothing compared with the thought and promise of Christ. He wrote in this mood several hymns of unassuming simplicity and tenderness:
Jesus sweet in memory,
Giving the heart true joy,
Yea, beyond honey and all things,
Sweet is His presence.
Nothing sung is lovelier,
Nothing heard is pleasanter,
Nothing thought is sweeter
Than Jesus the Son of God.
I believe this world, this life as revealed through the senses, is to be enjoyed to the fullest, that life is a gift that should be used well. How different from this monk who “covered his eyes least they take too sensual a delight from the lakes of Switzerland.” Yet I believe he had a good life. Though he turned his back on creation caring little for any but spiritual beauty I respect him for living his life without conflict with his belief. He didn’t deprive himself of worldly experience with the expectation of a reward after death or as an example to others or to be sanctified. He did it because it was beautiful to him because it was the right way for him to live his life and that is beautiful.
I, like him, live as I do because it is the right way for me and it is beautiful. I am happy for both of us. I can’t wish more for anyone than that they figure out what is best for them independently of what others (ie writers and interpreters of religions) try to dictate as being what is “right”

Leap of Faith

ThomasD — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 19:02:34 +0000

Quorto- You say God gave us our mind so, clearly, you believe in God.
Thomas- If that is your conclusion, it should, at the least, not be clear.
Quorto- You don’t believe in God?
Thomas- I will give you the simplest, most direct answer I can. I do not believe in God as depicted in the Old Testament, New Testament, Qur’an or any other religious doctrine I’m aware of.
Quorto- What’s with “God-given mind” then?
Thomas- I am speaking to those who believe God gave them their mind. I do not mean to imply there is a God. Have you ever tried to have a reasoned discussion of religious belief with a fundamentalist of any religion?
Quorto- Yes.
Thomas- How did it turn out?
Quorto- In a draw, I guess. He said I just didn’t understand; that I had to have faith.
Thomas- There you have it, he ended the discussion with a leap of faith. When that happens to me I suggest he leave his leap of faith behind and use his God-given mind in the hope he will recognize that when he takes the “leap” he is abandoning his mind; abandoning what he would say is a gift from God.

Do you believe in God?

ThomasD — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:59:21 +0000

Do I believe in God?

I don’t believe in the God in whose name women were persecuted and killed as witches in Salem.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name men and boys marched to war in the Crusades.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name Protestants and Catholics killed each other in Northern Ireland.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name Jews and Arabs kill, and maim and torture each other in the Middle East.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name people harass young women and bomb buildings and send threatening mail and kill doctors who perform abortions.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name people fly airplanes into buildings killing people.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name hatred of people who are different than you or who believe differently is taught.

I don’t believe in the God in whose name children are taught to deny their God-given bodies which results in tortured twisted minds that commit rape, serial crimes and mass murders.

Many will say they agree with me because of the way I have stated the case. But if you feel you are in agreement, then are you ready to say that children should be taught to think rather than taught to follow blindly? Blind faith has been involved in all of the above–blind faith that was taught at an early age. Faith in a God that can say “an eye for an eye”. Faith in a God that can torture a good man to try his patience (Job). Faith in a God conceived by men more than two thousand years ago. Faith in a God who claims to be the only God and thus drives many of the faithful to believe that others are wrong where they are right.

Do I believe in God?

I believe in the God I see in the setting sun and the opening flower.

I believe in the God I see in your eyes.

I believe in the God that is accessible through my God-given senses.

I believe in the God that is equated with love.

I believe in love.

I believe love is the most powerful and most wonderful level we can attain in our lives. Love of all, love of ourselves, love of life.

Anyone who has felt this love finds the acts that have been committed in the name of God to be incomprehensible. Whether it be children killing fellow students or men flying into buildings it has never been done by someone who loved the God within them only by those whose love has been misguided to an ancient entity created as separate from all that we know in this life.