So you got a new job, it was the only job available so you really had no choice and you boss is laying down the law

1. I am the boss. I am your only boss. You shall have no other boss than me, ever.
2. Don’t even think about another boss or another job. I am a jealous son of a bitch and if I ever catch one of you even thinking about leaving here you will regret it. Not only will I make your life miserable but I will make your family’s life miserable, even your grandchildren’s lives.
3. It’s OK for me to call myself a SOB but you better not call me anything but Mr. Boss and Sir and it better sound sincere—no snide remarks behind my back either because I can see and hear everything that goes on not only here at work but even in your homes.
4. I built this factory in six days, believe it or not. A little joke there. You don’t really have a choice. You must believe it. I found it a good thing to rest on the seventh day and what is good for me is good for you. You, too, shall do no work on the seventh day but rather you must spend the day thinking about me. You will have to fast on the seventh day because I forbid you from letting anyone else work either. Perhaps, you could eat any food that was lying around, you know, just so you don’t work or cause anyone else to work and as long as you are thinking of me. Maybe you could, like, pick up an apple and look at it and say, “oh, beloved boss of mine thank you for giving me a wonderful job so that I can have this day to love and respect you and thank you for allowing me to eat this apple.”
5. This may be a little difficult to follow because I am the supreme boss who you must honor but you should also honor your father and mother, just not as much as you honor me. They aren’t supreme bosses like I am but they are there when I’m not so I kind of relinquish some power to them, because, you know, I can’t be everywhere all the time. But don’t forget that my spy-cams are everywhere.
6. You are not allowed to kill another worker. That’s a no-brainer. Once you start working for me, you are mine and nobody, but nobody, takes anything that is mine. It’s good for you too since everybody else is also forbidden to kill (There will be some exceptions when I will tell you to kill people. More on that later.)
7. Don’t fuck anybody but your own spouse. I told you that I was jealous so it’s only natural that some of that trait might wear off on others. Anyway adultery is just not a good thing. It’s not good for company moral.
8. No stealing. Hey, would you want someone to steal from you? OK? So don’t steal.
9. Don’t say false things about your neighbor.
10. Do not covet anybody else’s house, ditto anybody else’s wife, or his servants or his SUV.
Got it? Any questions?

Yes, Sir. What does covet mean?

It means want, desire, get a hard-on for.

Oh. Sir, are the covet things listed in order of importance? I mean, is it more important not to covet his house than his wife? And if I can’t even desire my neighbor’s wife, isn’t the adultery thing redundant?

OK, time to get back to work.

Oh, oh, Mr. Boss. Are we allowed to lie?

Read number 9.

But that just says don’t spread untrue rumors about people.

It means don’t lie.

But why didn’t you…

Oh, I forgot number 11. No questions. Actually I didn’t forget because I’m infallible. I was just teasing you.

If you are religious and you question your religious leader about the Ten Commandment and press for answers beyond the point where the only answer is “it’s a leap of faith”, your religious leader may invoke the eleventh commandment.

Run this same exercise for the leader of a country rather than the leader of a business and you may find yourself describing Moamer Kadhafi, Saddam Hussein. or Kim Jong-Il.
The Ten Commandments do not describe a loving or a lovable God. But, hey, you better accept them as God’s word or He will make you suffer for eternity which, as I understand it, is a long time

“The Roman did not, like the Greek, think of his gods as having human form; he called them simply numina, or spirits; sometimes they were abstractions like Health, Youth, Memory, Fortune, Honor, Hope, Fear, Virtue, Chastity, Concord, Victory, or Rome. Some of them, like the Lemures or Ghosts, were spirits of disease, hard to propitiate….Never had a religion so many divinities. Varro reckoned them at 30,000, and Petronius complained that in some towns of Italy there were more gods than men.”

Having gods in everything is not all that different from monotheistic belief that God, their single god, is in everything which is certainly a lot easier than having to remember the names of all the different gods. However, I rather like the notion of many gods. I thank the cedar shingle god who has placed the right size and number of shingles in my hand before climbing the ladder; I thank the stone god for missing my bare foot when I drop a stone unwisely; I thank the rain god for holding the rain back until I am through picking the beans and if I give thanks prematurely, I laugh at the joke being played on me.

I suppose those who believe that a loving god could be so self-centered as to make the first three of His Ten Commandments be all about himself will be sure that I am on a course for hell. It is my hope that their beliefs make them as happy as the playful relationship I have with my gods makes me.

The quote above is from The Story of Civilization: Part III Caesar and Christ by Will Durant which I am currently enjoying. I have read four of the eleven volumes and highly recommend them to anyone who enjoys reading history

OK folks, how did that first paragraph strike you? If you liked it, then you are all set for Armageddon. It’ll be coming along soon as you probably already realize though the bad news is that it won’t come in your lifetime. If you think I’m an arrogant jerk and that you wouldn’t follow me across the street, then I agree with you. I wouldn’t follow that jerk either. If you also happen to believe in the God of the Bible, the God who sent down the Ten Commandments, you ought to take another look at the first three commandments (Exodus 20:3-7) because that God and the person depicted in the first paragraph are peas in a pod.

Actually the God Moses quoted is worse than my fake god. He said “I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” Man, that’s harsh! If you so much as take his name in vain he will punish your children, your grandchildren and your great grandchildren. If that is the God you want to worship, good luck to you and to your children. If that is your God, you are probably already screwed. What are the odds that your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather never took the Lord’s name in vain?

There are many good thoughts in the Bible like not stealing and not killing (Commandments six and eight) and just because that ancient God is a jerk doesn’t mean one should abandon one’s religion. Most Jews, Christians and Muslims hold in their hearts a loving God. No reason to abandon that God but those who want to take the Bible as God’s word, should start using their mind. If you believe in a God as your creator, the one who gave you life, then use that life, the senses and mind that were given. You know that Satan did not, could not, give you life but that Satan could give you ideas passed on through others, others just like those who wrote the Bible.