The Bible is Perfect

People who don’t eat broccoli are sinners and will go to Hell. Fortunately, if they eat broccoli on the last day of their life, they will be saved. If you don’t believe me, look it up in the Bible.
The 41st president of the United States didn’t eat broccoli. He hated broccoli, in fact. There is still time for his redemption but the frightening thing is that by not eating broccoli while he was president we actually had a disciple of Satan running the most powerful nation on earth for four years. We should have read the Bible more carefully before voting.
You say you can’t find anything about broccoli in the Bible? You just aren’t looking hard enough because you can find anything you want to believe in the Bible. First, you have to believe it to be so then you look until you find what you were looking for. Tell a Jehovah’s Witness the next time one knocks on your door that Jesus and all the people who had a hand in writing the Bible thought the world was flat and they will turn to a passage in the Bible that proves to them that you are wrong, that Jesus did know the earth was round and that it was not the center of the universe. I made up the broccoli part but the Jehovah’s Witness part is true.
Wouldn’t life be interesting if everything were as open to interpretation as the Bible? Imagine: speed limit 50 unless you want to go faster or throw an apple into the air and it doesn’t come down if you don’t want it to.
Not only is the Bible not the word of God, it is so inconsistent it would drive any editor nuts; but for a believer it is perfect.

1 thought on “The Bible is Perfect

  1. When approached by missionaries, such as Jehovah’s Witness, I find there are two great questions to ask at the start. First, “Do you believe that human beings always tell the truth?” Second, “Did you first learn about your religion from a human being?” These questions won’t instantly make an agnostic out of your visitor, but in my experience this is often the first time the person at the front door ever considered that they may be on the wrong side.

    I don’t believe that making wild interpretations of a holy scripture is bad per se. If your interpretation of scripture enables you to live a life that is in harmony, peace, and joy with the universe, or even just to have the courage to get though one of life’s dark moments– that’s a wonderful use of belief. It’s when a person (or group of people) use an interpretation of scripture (literal or otherwise) to disparage or restrict other people (or even oneself) that the line is crossed.

    On a related note, here is a link to a recent TED Talk which you (and your readers) may enjoy. It’s by Lesley Hazleton, a biographer who was researching the life of Mohammed and came to a perspective on doubt and certainty and how they relate to faith.

    Great blog, by the way. I’ve been enjoying your posts and look forward to more!

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